Sometimes life really gets me down. When you think about all the things wrong in the world, cruelty to animals, cruelty to people for that matter, good people dying of cancer, starving and living in the street while bad people live long rich happy lives. I hate when things are unfair and even more I hate when i can't do anything about it. I hate that people die, just disapear. gone. I hate that people who want to live don't while people like I, who take life for granted get to live the day they missed out on. There are many things in life I can't stand, I can't find reason for and I can't change. Thats were my eating disorder comes into play because when you sepnd every waking minute thinking about food and exercise and how much weight you want to lose and how much you weigh, there doesn't leave a lot of time to worry about the homeless or the little kid being picked on. And really when it comes down to it there not as important as which size pants my fat legs can squeeze into, its a sad fact that at the end of the day I place priority on myself and my obsessions then to the good of the world but unfortunately thats the only way i can cope, just block it out with thoughts of ana. Unfortunately that means i cant see myself recovering because there is always going to be bad and unfair things in this world and im always going to need a distraction.
uplifting much??
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment